If It’s Done With Love

Can I become debt free?

Financially, mentally, spiritually?

Or will I always have a debt? Is that what connects us? Is that was intertwines our fate?

If I lived selflessly, I would have to renounce my desires, my interests, and live a life of servitude. I would be debt free, because I would give and take nothing in return.

If I created the life I want to have, followed my heart, evolved my dreams, realized my potential, then I would be in a state of persistent debt, because I would be taking, taking, taking. Selfishly.

So which is the path?

If I believed in fatalism, I would say that I am already on the path of Selfishness. I want to become somebody. Change the world. I want, I want, I want. I have already been taking from a young age. I am already in debt.

But is there an inward door I need to open? A door of giving selflessly. Unconditional existing. Ego disintegration. Debtless living?

I don’t know!

Let’s call me, me. Let’s call the rest of the world (anything that exists outside the realm of my body) the other.

What is my relationship to the other?

Right now, it’s a sort of

“It’s your turn to give”

Towards the other.

If I gave all the time, I would have a relationship similar to any relationship I’ve ever fucking had. I don’t get anything back. I get taken advantage of. My heart is wrung and then left dry.

I am learning to accept life as it comes.

Giving is good, but so is accepting.

What good is giving, actually, when you can’t accept what’s given?

That’s what I need to focus on. Accepting in comparison to taking. Giving in comparison to spilling forth.

If it’s done with love, then it’s done well.

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